Hatred
by Teslyn
Summary: [o.O] A collection of oneshots inspired by randomness. [Chapter 3 up]Itachi can't hate Kisame, now or ever. [R&R]
1. The Kyuubi and Ramen

**A/N:**

**This is pretty much some one-shot crack. xD Cheers!**

**Some notes:**

**This is the demon talking**

'these are talking to the fox'

_These are normal thoughts_

**Watch out for the flashbacks signs, because I won't be using italics for flashbacks. Simply because most of the story happens in a flashback xD. Enjoy.**

**Also, I don't really watch the anime series, so Irachiku Ramen will be what I imagine it to be xD**

**The Kyuubi and Ramen**

'I hate you, fox,' the blond shinobi cursed inwardly. He was sitting in a dark cell, his wrists and ankles held by chakra-absorbing cuffs. Across from him sat a boy who was also sixteen, though the other teenager had black hair and his usually onyx eyes were now red, three black tomoe in each eye.

The cell was uncomfortably small, merely a four by four foot square allowing the two boys only so much space. The two ninjas were sitting opposite each other, each glaring at the other. Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto weren't exactly the best friends they once were; everything, including Naruto's insistence in saying that the two were still each other's best friend long after Sasuke had left Konoha, had changed when the Uchiha had almost killed him during the second attempt to bring him back.

Oh, Naruto still beat the crap (or tried to) out of anyone who called Sasuke a traitor, telling them repeatedly that Sasuke was his best friend, but the boy was a little more hesitant in saying that he was Sasuke's best friend in turn. But the two had larger problems then their rivalry; like how the hell they were supposed to escape Itachi and Fish-Face Kisame.

'Everything is your fault Kyuubi. If you weren't in me, I wouldn't have had a sucky childhood, Sasuke wouldn't have been driven over the edge by jealousy when Itachi and Kisame attacked me in that damn hallway, so he wouldn't have run to Orochimaru, which caused me to make my five billionth attempt to bring him back, giving Itachi the opportunity to kidnap both of us, and hold us here!'

**Kit, I forgot the beginning of that sentence by the time you finished your ranting.** The Kyuubi retorted. **Besides, its not _my_ fault I'm stuck in this hellhole you call Naruto Uzumaki.**

Naruto glared at the Kyuubi. 'The point is, I hate you, and you make everything worse.'

**Kit, **the Kyuubi chuckled, **you can never hate me because…**

_-FLASHBACK-_

Naruto was on his way back home after yet another day of training, learning, skiving off classes, and playing pranks at the Academy. The boy wasn't quite sure what he was going to eat for dinner; he had just received his allowance for the week from Iruka-sensei.

The eight-year old adjusted his goggles, and thrust his hands into the pockets of his eye-blinding, signature orange jumpsuit. He stared at his feet as he walked by the numerous villagers who pointed, sneered, or worse, purposefully ignored him. He had no idea why Konoha seemed to hate him.

Whatever the reason, the villagers had made his eight years of life a misery. Nobody liked Naruto, especially that quiet, arrogant, I'm-So-Cool-That-I-Have-Billions-Of-Fangirls Sasuke.

As if thinking of him had made the boy materialize in front of him, Sasuke suddenly appeared, walking towards Naruto, making the kid almost jumped out of his skin when he spotted Sasuke. The popular boy was staring at the ground in the same fashion as the unknowing Kyuubi container.

The Uchiha abruptly turned into a small shop with a green roof. The words _Irachiku Ramen_ were written in big, red letters on the window.

**Kit, if you go by that store without going in to eat, I swear I will murder you, **an unknown voice invaded Naruto's thoughts.

'But I don't like ramen.' Naruto thought back, somewhat confused. Was this voice his conscience?

**You have never tried it, liar. The only reason you don't want to go in is because it would seem like you were following Sasuke. Now, get your ass into that store!**

'How did you -! Argh, fine!' Turning, Naruto followed Sasuke into the ramen store. As soon as he ast, a pretty young woman came over to take Naruto's order. The boy stared at the menu while the waitress, who introduced herself as Ayame, waited. Or so it looked like. In truth, Naruto was currently engaged in a heated argument.

**Kit, get two bowls of the beef ramen.**

'No!'

**Yes.**

'No!'

**Yes.**

'I will NOT!'

**It will make you stronger than Sasuke.**

'Fine. But when I die of food poisoning, it's all your fault.'

**You won't.**

"I'll get two bowls of the beef ramen…" Naruto said hesitantly.

"Okay!" Ayame said smiling cheerfully.

While waiting for his ramen, Naruto snuck a look over at Sasuke. The other young boy looked thoroughly miserable, tired, and extremely sad, though the boy was holding a tomato and glaring at it like the fruit was the source of his troubles. Weird, no?

_Hm. I wonder what happened… oh well, the kid must hate tomatoes a lot -! _Naruto's thoughts were interrupted by Ayame, who arrived with his ramen. Picking up the chopsticks, Naruto barely concealed a grimace as he tasted the noodles and broth.

Two thoughts floated into Naruto's mind as he tried the ramen.

'Whoever you are, I LOVE YOU OH UNKOWN VOICE.' and 'THIS RAMEN STUFF IS AWESOME!'

And then the boy proceeded to inhale the ramen faster than the eye could follow…

'How did you know that this ramen stuff would be so good?'

**Kit, I…**

-_END FLASHBACK-_

The Kitsune paused, still chuckling. **Kit, you can never hate me because I… I INVENTED RAMEN!**

Naruto sweatdropped. _Curses! _

"Damn fox, you got me there..." Naruto muttered, causing Sasuke to raise a questioning eyebrow.

**A/N:**

**There you have it. My short, one-shot crack. It may be two-shot (the reason Sasuke was glaring at the tomato) depending on if the reviewers liked this.**

**Anyways, I'm out-**

**-Aes Sedai**

Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	2. Itachi and Tomatoes

**A/N:**

**Yay! Why Sasuke was glaring at the tomato… **

**Anyway…**

**Again, I haven't really seen the anime series much, and the manga I read a while back… So forgive my errors.**

**I realize I forgot this last chapter:**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto –whimpers- **

**Itachi and Tomatoes**

Sasuke arched an eyebrow at Naruto. "Talking to the fox in your belly, eh?" The teen commented. "Damn! Does _everyone _know about the Kyuubi?" Came the exasperated response, just before the fox-boy started humming "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves'.

"Hn," was all Sasuke said, because the Song that Gets On Everybody's Nerves was getting on his nerves.

"Sasuke, you bastard, you realize this is all your fault," the Kitsune-container accused, pausing his song (which somehow, the fox had convinced him to hum, but in the end, it accomplished Operation Annoy Sasuke anyway) while secretly thinking 'Kyuubi, it's all your damn fault.' Sasuke glared, and stood threateningly.

"My foolish little brother…" Both Sasuke and Naruto flinched, and turned their gaze to the Uchiha prodigy standing at the bars of the room.

Sasuke snarled, and started towards his brother. "I've lived my life hating you, Itachi!" That was what he said. His facial features, though, were a whole book. If read properly, as Itachi did, the message was quite clear. 'It's all your fault Itachi, if you hadn't killed our clan, I wouldn't have had a sucky life, I wouldn't have had to go seek power in that really, really, _really_, freaking and apparently gay Snake-sannin, and then Naruto wouldn't have had to seek me out, and we wouldn't be here!'

If it was read Naruto's way, which was _not_ the right way, it would say, "O.o Who the hell are you?"

Itachi merely smiled chillingly. His face, when read improperly Naruto did, said, "I like cows."

If read properly as Sasuke did and Naruto did not, responded coldly. It read, 'You do not hate me enough, and you _never_ will because…'

-FLASHBACK-

Sasuke ((picture a cute, cuddly chibi-Sasuke xD)) ran past Naruto – the baka was studying the ground so hard, the young Uchiha doubted that the Uzumaki boy had even noticed him. For the first time since… well, the first time of his life, he was excited to go home, to show his father his grades.

Ever since Sasuke had mastered he Grand Fireball Technique, his father had seemed to actually acknowledge the fact that Sasuke did indeed exist, and was actually quite intelligent and strong, if not as strong as Itachi. Sasuke had a reason to want to return home, and to want to train with his father now.

But Sasuke realized something was wrong when he entered the Uchiha part of town. Everything seemed… well, dead. Like everyone was dead. He didn't know how close he was to the truth, of course, but it was ironic how he had hit the target straight-on. Of course he had; the authoress wrote it that way, _duh_.

Standing just outside of his house, a feeling that said "YOU'RE IN DEEP SHIT IF YOU GO IN THERE" over took Sasuke, but the eight-year-old squared his shoulders stubbornly. "I'm coming in!" He said to no on in particular; he didn't really expect an answer, but an answer he got.

"Sasuke! No! Don't come in!" Itachi's voice wasn't exactly… alarmed… it was filled with more, well, urgent disinterest, however that works. Heedless to his brother's words, Sasuke charged into the house. And stopped short, staring at the grisly sight.

Ever heard of that term, 'deer in the headlights'? Well, that was Sasuke. He simply stared, his parents dead on the floor, and Itachi's hand stained with their blood. Figuratively, that is. If we're being technical, it would be Itachi's kunai. Had he really taken down his family, nay, his _clan_ that easily his only weapon being a _kunai_?

"My foolish little brother… you shouldn't have come in." Sasuke stared. "I- I'm going to kill you for this!" The young ninja cried defiantly, standing firmly as his brother advanced. It took all of his willpower not to pee his pants, but the Uchiha did anyway. The whole scene froze as he ran off to change.

Upon his return, Itachi started moving again. "Run, run my brother, run and live to hate me…" Sasuke trembled. This time he didn't wet his pants. Just barely. "Run and… take these with you." Itachi tossed two tomatos at Sasuke. The boy caught them, and vowed never to eat them. He hated tomatoes; actually, he had never tried them, but since Itachi had just killed his whole fucking clan, and tomatoes were the sociopath's favorite fruit, Sasuke vowed to hate them.

Numbly, he gripped the tomatoes and fled. On the way to Irachiku Ramen, he got hungry and at a tomato, promptly forgetting his vow. _Shit!_ He thought, after eating the fruit, and for two reasons. They were a) he had just broken his vow and b) he just learned that from now on, he would be addicted to tomatoes. Shit indeed.

Sitting in at the table in the Ramen shop, he glared at the remaining tomato. It was it's own fault that it was so damn tasty, and it was Itachi's fault that he liked the tomatoes. Damn Itachi and damn tomatoes. Oh well… and Sasuke promptly ate the last tomato.

-END FLASHBACK-

"I, I gave you your first tomato…" Itachi said coldly. Sasuke filled the air with colorful swears, and the words "damn… got me there… shit!" were distinct amongst the others.

**A/N:**

**There you have it. My next chapter is probably going to be "Kisame and Death" or something.**

**O.o**

**Well, goodbye! (Please don't get mad at me because I haven't updated Saraiyu's story in forever!)**

**-- Aes Sedai**


	3. Kisame and Bushy

**A/N:**

**Chapter three! Yay! W00tt, sorry this took forever!**

**Hehe**

**Kisame and Bushy**

Itachi leaned back in his chair. "We failed." He said simply. His partner, the gilled, fish-faced Kisame Hoshigaki knew what he was talking about, obviously. The Kyuubi. Of course.

"We. Fucking. Failed. Damn it! He's thirteen, why can't we capture him!" The sociopath murderer glared at his partner in anger. Uchiha Itachi was not used to failing, nor was he fond of it.

"Itachi-san, calm down. He _is_ the Kyuubi, and besides Jiraiya-san, one of the Legendary Sannins was there to help. All we have to do is corner the Kyuubi next time, and we'll have him." Actually, Kisame wanted gnashed his sharp, shark-like teeth in anger himself, but he knew if he let Itachi brood to much, the Uchiha would either a) get drunk and kill a bunch of people bringing down an angry mob, or b) go kill a bunch of people and bring an angry mob upon them anyway. Neither option was looking good from the shark's perspective so he hastily steered Itachi away from the subject, so urgency took precedence.

He helped Itachi out of his chair and handed the younger shinobi his teddy bear.

"I hate you, Kisame."

"Of course you do, Itachi-san." Kisame replied good-naturedly. Itachi would always want to hate Kisame, but he never could. After all, ever since that first time, Kisame had always been there to help Itachi. Kisame had been Itachi's psychiatrist (how a mass murderer can help a psychotic mass murderer is beyond me) in a sense, had always been there when Itachi needed him. Kisame could count the number of times Itachi had actually thanked him for his help on one hand. On one finger, to be exact. That first time was probably because the kid had been dead drunk.

_-FLASHBACK-_

Itachi sat in his chair, staring at the empty cup of sake. The expression on his face would have been called a sullen pout on anyone but Itachi. But this was Itachi, so it was called a murderous expression and if his anger wasn't abated soon, someone was going to die. Painfully.

Itachi was way to young to be drinking. But being an S-Class missing nin, Kisame didn't really care about petty laws. If Itachi wanted to get drunk, well by all means, let him. The source of the ex-Leaf nin's anger was currently in hiding. Itachi had caught Zetsu, the weird Venus-flytrap Akatsuki member eating the Leaf-nin that Itachi had captured and planned to interrogate for information on Konoha, and the Kyuubi container.

Kisame watched the thirteen-year-old carefully. It had been a month since he had met his new partner, a twenty-nine days since Itachi had proved that he was as good, if not better than Kisame. And that he would soon surpass the shark in a matter of months. Damn was that a depressing thought for the shark.

Even after a month, Kisame had learned to interpret that angry look. It was the only time Itachi looked like a thirteen-year-old. Quite frankly, Kisame thought it was refreshing; it reminded him that even Itachi had his moments.

His reverie was rudely interrupted as Itachi pushed himself up from his chair, swaying. Stumbling, the kid made his way outside. By the time he reached the door, Kisame come to the conclusion that it would be smart to follow him and make sure he didn't do something stupid.

With a drawn out sigh, the ex-Mist nin stood and made his way into the dark. He followed Itachi for about five minutes. They walked for about a quarter of a mile, Itachi drunkenly wove his way through the trees, and on some occasions, into them.

After those five minutes, Itachi doubled over and started heaving out the contents of his stomach into a nearby bush. With an even more exaggerated sigh than before (if that was possible), Kisame walked over and held Itachi's head for him while he puked into Bushy, Kisame's new name for the bush.

After about three minutes, Itachi straitened, wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his Akatsuki cloak, and muttered, "Thanks."

The first and only time Kisame had ever heard it from the silent Uchiha.

_-END FLASHBACK-_

Kisame was snapped out of his pleasant memories as Itachi lurched to his feet. With a sigh, Kisame followed the Uchiha outside, and held his head as he threw up onto Bushy Jr. The Uchiha had a sensitive stomach for sake. This was only his second time drinking ever since that first time.

It didn't surprise Kisame that Itachi needed to puke after have only two glasses.

It also didn't surprise him when Itachi hissed, "If you tell anyone, I swear I will kill you Kisame. I hate you," quite vehemently.

"Of course you do, Itachi-san," Kisame responded wearily. Of course, everyone in Akatsuki knew that Itachi didn't hate Kisame, and that he never would. After all, it had been years since they were partnered and Kisame wasn't dead. And it hadn't surprised Kisame that Itachi had repeated that he hated Kisame.

What surprised the shark, though, was when he got a rough, "Thanks."

And that was why Itachi can never hate Kisame. The shark is the only person who will hold the Uchiha's head when he is puking.

**A/N:**

**Heh, hope you liked it!**

**--Aes Sedai**


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